Your idea of true love is a lie. This sounds weird, but it is a fact.
Way back then, I thought loving someone is all it takes to feel love, to feel true love. That whatever comes along the way, it’s gonna be alright.
Not until I tried being in an unlabeled relationship. I kept it hidden from my family and only my friends knew about it. The truth is, it’s not a normal relationship. I was involved in a same-sex relationship. That was my first and for sure, my last.
It was a strange experience.
We are kind of happy but deep inside my heart, I can say, “There’s something wrong.”
Most of the time, I would talk to myself. I would always say there is nothing wrong with what we were doing. We loved each other and we’re not causing any harm. At times, I justified the current situation I’m into, proving it’s okay though.
On the other side, I would also remind myself of how I was designed. On the real identity that I have in Christ Jesus. The bible says that we are made in the image and likeness of God. I really believe in this passage. However, I still followed my heart. I always find a way to get out of that mindset. I even dared to say that we can both worship God and have a happy life while in a relationship, but the word of the Lord responded that I cannot worship both the good and evil. (Matthew 6:24, "No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.)
In the end, I got exhausted. I felt a void causing emptiness to my heart. The conviction was always present. It seems like God is telling me to come to Him and He would show me what true love is. However, I would always decline His offer because I thought my idea of true love is greater than His.
But the moment I said yes to His calling, it changed everything.
Right now. I am serving the Lord. I know I am on the right path since I am with Him. I live for Him alone. Living a life with God has never been easy but grateful. Some would criticize me for who I was in my past. That nothing has changed since then. But I just want to say, I admitted my mistakes. I was a sinner nor a perfect person. I was who you think I was. But God is good and He is forgiving. The love of God that I didn’t feel before is the most surreal feeling that I’m feeling right now. True love, at last. I am grasping the love of God no matter what the circumstances. I’ll choose God. I’ll choose His love.
You might find my testimony a bit disturbing but trust me, I was there. I was on the same shoes. Just allow God to move in your life. You might feel convicted and it’s okay. God is feeling you. His voice is calling you.
“Come home my son, you have come a long way. The love you’ve been longing for is here.”
I tell you, the love of God feels uncanny at first, however, it’s the only love that is real and eternal.
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