HOW I MET JESUS IN COLLEGE SERIES
The chain is broken, and now I am free.
Before, I was imprisoned of the things that I wanted. The things that the world could offer me satisfaction. At a very young age, I was chained to worldly things, early exposed to the so-called “Pornography” at 10, due to the influence of my step cousin. It was also at that time that I became lustful. The call of flesh was too strong every time I watched it.
Pornography chained the young me, lust covered my purity.
Highschool days I began indulging myself to vices. I learned to smoke cigarettes, drink alcoholic beverages, and became addicted to computer games, and worst, robbery. I have done all of that without getting caught by my parents. Also, I began searching for immoral relationships that could satisfy the longing of my heart, influenced by my schoolmates. I just wanted to go with the flow. That was it.
I just wanted to feel love and be loved.
I just wanted to be loved by someone. Love that I didn’t felt from my family. My heart was full of selfishness but longing for love. I courted someone and if I failed to do so, I started to court another one. Just like a game, when it’s over or when you fail to finish it, you start a new one again. It took a couple of tries before someone said yes to me. Our relationship lasted for three years. We stopped due to the fact about her being a jealous one. She got jealous when I’m with my friends or someone is talking to me. I got tired of her, and her attitude.
We broke up ... and started to look for another one.
Someone I could lean on. Someone who could fix my broken heart. I knew that time that there was someone who had a liking to me and cared for me also. It was a perfect time for me to take it for granted. I started to court her. Courting her using flowery words. It was like a balloon, beautiful on the outside but nothing on the inside of it. It was just pure air. She was very fragile. I took advantage of her fragility. For me, it would be very easy to let her fell in love with me. Indeed, she fell in love with me easily. We had some quality time together in their house. What do you expect after that? Something between us had happened.
Regrets will follow.
Until one day, my father messaged me saying, "Don’t make a decision that you may regret soon." It hit me. It hit me hard. Those words awaken me of the things that I was doing. The things that I knew were not good but still, kept doing it. So, I decided to breakup with her immediately. It came to my realization that our relationship was never been right. I decided to distance myself to her, even to her friends. I drunk myself just to forget the nightmare I’ve experienced in my life. It wasn’t my intention to use someone just to fix the broken me. I took advantaged of someone’s fragility. I don’t know how to fix myself anymore.
I couldn’t accept myself for what I’ve done.
But College life took a turn for me.
One time, while I was sitting on a bench, mind’s nowhere to be found, something caught my attention. I heard a Christian song. I followed where the music came from. It brought me to a near chapel inside our school. Out of nowhere, I joined the gathering inside. Someone named ate Mysan accompanied me inside and asked me some few questions. I stayed there for a little bit. She asked for my number and said that someone will contact me to join with the other youths. The next day, she contacted me, inviting me to join what they call Funday.
It was the major turning point of my life … and the beginning of a journey.
I connected myself to the organization called Youth to The Nations or Y2DN where I started my journey with God. Ever since I connected to this family, my life started to change. My mentor, tatay Mark helped me and guided me to grow in my relationship with the Lord through connecting me to a life group. It was a step by step process of continuing this journey but with the help of God, it’s worth it. During those times, I realized that the people surrounding us will create a huge impact in our life. it may destroy us or help us to grow and become mature.
I’ve been saved.
Today, I can say that God really changed my life. From darkness to light, and from death into life. He broke the chains that binds me and freed me from pornography, lust, addiction and taking advantage of others. Now, I am confident that He is my God.
I am holding His promise written in 1 Corinthians 2:9,
But, as it is written "What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him".
God’s love is our satisfaction.
OTEP
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