by Gellie Farañal
Patient, kind, not jealous, not boastful, not proud, nor rude, not self-seeking, nor irritable. That is love, a thing my Creator has given me, a thing my Creator made me out of. LOVE. But for me, these were my issues.
"What love is" was my issue. I indulged myself in Philosophy, the love for wisdom, to know what love is, thinking I could have it or at least be patient or not be irritable. Philosophy amazed me. I even applied its principles in my life. I thought all these philosophies I have known were right, not until I started studying in UM Davao.
I was involved in a so-called lifegroup that resulted to have compromised beliefs between God's and human's definition of love. I decided to let God enter a little spot in my heart where the biggest issues in my life are hidden. In lifegroup, I was taught about what is devotional. From then on, I got curious. I didn't know how it happened but three days after my birthday, I decided, I'll get myself involved in devotional.
Yes. It is I who needs to get involved in having a devotional, not the devotional to get involved in me. Why? Because devotion is already present and it will never cease. What it needs is someone to act upon it, a devotee. God accepts too many devotions, yet too little devotees. Jesus is not a Shepherd without His sheep; God is not a Father without His children. How would you know that God is God who is worshipped if you would not let yourself into worship? Therefore, "A devotion without a devotee is nothing but a raised palm without a raised heart." That was the very first conviction I had to start my devotional.
"To begin to love Love, to love God."
A voice at my back is screaming these words. Afterall, it was the Holy Spirit whispering. I began to understand what He meant by saying, "My child." I now responded to His calling, "Count me in, my Father."
I said YES to encounter.
It was hard.
The choice I've made became an argument in my family. I can't sleep well. I kept dreaming unusual dreams. I felt things that crept me. It even led me to tell my leader,
"Ate Ella, di na ko maglife-group. Di na ko mag lifeclass. Hadlok na ko te El."
By the grace of God and with the help of all those who prayed for me [Thank you all], I could finally barge out of the house. Me heading to BCC (Buhangin Community Church) was like a bird freed from its cage. I took the risk and accepted the coming battles. Battles such as not being able to talk to my parents for about a month, leaving immature commitments and old habits, disregarding friends who would do me no good, and dispersing my held philosophies. It was not even I who single-handedly fought my battles, I am with Jesus. These I faced with peace of mind, knowing that my God can handle everything as what He promised me, which 'til then is consistent.
After that "on the verge of giving up" feeling, never did I ever experienced a day without Christ. I haven't experienced 'nothing' yet. I see new fresh grace every day from the same God I praise.
Even if I rarely finish Youth Reload/s, still, God is graceful.
Even if I cannot commit to my 365 days-devotional, still, God is merciful.
Even if people knew the 'old-me' found it funny to see me telling my testimonies, still, God is faithful.
Just because I had that issue, it does mean I no longer deserve Him nor only deserve the second best. We all deserve Jesus. He died for us, right?
Right now, seeing how my family is starting their small beginnings with Christ, makes me say, "It is all worth it to surrender everything unto Him even if it takes all those battles to be experienced." Truly, encountering God cannot only be experienced through encounter sessions but by fully surrendering your life to God. Being a follower of Christ is a decision. A tough one. It's your choice to become a Christian, not what your parents chose to fill up in your baptismal form but by choosing a relationship with God, relationship is greater than religion itself. I tell you, there is no handbook on how to become a Christian. Each one of us, God designed a unique destiny that will lead unto Him.
If you want to find love, read your bible. You’ll get to know how we all deserve Jesus and how deserving is He of our love.
For God is love.
God is patient.
God is kind.
God is not jealous.
God is not boastful or proud or rude.
God is not self-seeking.
God is not irritable.
God keeps no records of wrong.
God does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices with the truth.
He is the parachute that holds me wherever the wind would take me. It is no longer about where I would crash-land, as long as He is with me through it all. What I thought love was, became my issue. When in fact, it's my identity.
God is love.
God loves me.
Love became my identity.
God never gave up on us.
God never lost faith in us.
God is always hopeful.
And God is with us in every circumstance.
1 Corinthians 13: 4-7
.. And so I will be, by His grace and His love for me.😊
Pass it on!
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