HOW I MET JESUS SERIES
Before I have completely moved on from darkness to light, I have been in search of happiness in the wrong places and craved attention so much. I was afraid of being alone. I just want to have fun and enjoy life and freedom to do whatever I want. The life I had revolved around worldly pleasures like partying, getting drunk with friends, and immoral relationships. It all happened without my parents' knowledge.
I had this desire to be in a relationship, but I’m afraid of commitment. I envied petite girls whom boys go crazy about. I wanted to be like them. I wanted to be in the spotlight, to be admired, and to be loved.
I wanted things that I could not have. Instead, all I have gained were pimples, insecurities, and hate. Until I met someone who became all to me. He became my shoulder to lean on as I started my college life. He treated me so special. We had special moments together but it was a worldly relationship we shared.
It took me three months before I came to realize that I have fallen in love with him. But the sad truth is, he was in love with someone else and not with me. And, he left me.
Looking back, I knew it all along, but I just couldn’t admit it. I fell for him. It was in those moments, little things, and the feelings I couldn’t dismiss. Despite what happened, he left me. He left me as if nothing had happened. I was so broken at that time that all I did was to cry it out. I loved him but he chose to love someone else.
In that brokenness I found someone. I found God. September 27, 2019, was my first time attending Youth Reload because of my spiritual sister Chrizza Mei Deocampo who happened to be my friend at that time.
I was so drunk that day. I don’t know what to do. I just cried while listening to the songs being played during praise and worship and to someone who shared a testimony. Then I asked God what was happening to me. I felt like I was being punished and punched by reality. The clever me thought that it was God who did it to me at that moment. God knew I needed a wake-up call. Questions came rushing whether there will be someone good to me or none anymore.
My life would have been destroyed last year, but it turned out to be one of the best years I ever had. I made Jesus as my top priority, and He was filling me up with joy and peace.
It was the ultimate turning point of my life. God let me experience a heartbreak to lead me to the path of finding true happiness in Him. I found better friends and began participating in church gatherings such as life group, life class, school of leaders 1, Sunday service, and many more. I also become part of the Y2DN or Youth to the Nations which aims to make everyone be part of a family where we can share everything that we have gone through or go through. I started to believe that God really has wonderful plans for my life.
My life would have been destroyed last year, but it turned out to be one of the best years I ever had. I made Jesus as my top priority, and He was filling me up with joy and peace. I stopped caring so much about what others would think of me. God is more than enough to acknowledge me for who I am. He accepted me with all my flaws, and that’s what matters most.
Looking back at my life before knowing Jesus made me decide never to go back to that life anymore. Some of my friends are still pushing me to revert back to the old Jean-Jean instead of motivating me to become a better version of myself. I feel sorry when they don’t see any changes in my life. But I’m not doing this to impress the people around me; I’m doing it for my own good and for God alone. My life is not perfect and will never be in this world. Yet, my motivation in life right now is to enjoy it to the fullest while showing others the same love that God had shown me. I know now that my worth and identity lies fully in God. I no longer indulge in temporary things to find my value. I have been forgiven and I will live a life of freedom in God. LOVELOTS!
Looking back at my life before knowing Jesus made me decide never to go back to that life anymore.
Heartbreak may be painful, but God’s love is way more powerful.
Adel
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