By: Kristine Joy Eben Bilbao
Are you afraid to give up something that you’re used to having? Do you love it enough to endure the pain of suffering? Do you prefer to balance everything, asking God to help you do it? But what if the instruction is to already DROP IT so you can hold up to something better? What if giving up is for the best?
I worked as a full-time teacher, and a reviewer from 6 pm to 10 pm as I prepared for the LET. I even participated in my review center's Special Group program, which demands more of my time. When there was no review, I worked as a tutor from 6 pm to 8 pm. In between, I’ve been handling life groups, House Churches, and other ministries. Tiring? Yes. Busy? Super.
There have been times when I was unsure about what to do. I even thought of not taking the board exam last year. I was torn and pressured. What if I fail? I was anxious. It was heavy.
I prayed to God to help me handle everything. But He wanted me to let go of something. I asked Him what to give up, and He answered. I had to quit my job as a teacher. A challenge, indeed. I cried because I was so excited. I was thrilled to teach in face-to-face classes, and then boom!
And yet, “Better to have one handful with quietness than two handfuls with hard work and chasing the wind.” - Ecclesiastes 4:6 NLT
Sometimes we may receive a response that we did not anticipate, but the good news is that God knows what He is doing. The cited verse above was God’s answer to me. At first, I hesitated to resign because the hiring process in our school was over, and the class will start in less than a week. I also mentioned that I will teach for an additional year and I wanted to keep my word. Yes, many things could deter me, but in the end, I obeyed Him. I believed in Him. I am confident that He is aware of my needs. He has a broad perspective. He is also aware of my deepest desires.
I submitted the resignation letter. It felt lighter. I had more time to study than before. I visited UM and opened a new life group that God continues to sustain up to this day. By God’s grace, I am still handling LGs, HC, and other ministries. Still busy? Yes, but more fulfilled. In addition, we are all busy. It’s just a matter of priority. Maybe one of these days I will be able to write a blog about priority.
Let's fast-forward to exam day. “Lord, I want to leave the exam center with peace”, I prayed, and I felt peace when I did. On October 3, I headed home and spent a week with my family. I returned to Davao to work as a tutor from 8 am to 7:30 pm 4 times a week and to meet my life groups at least once a week. I was content and at the same time expectant. I know in my heart that the Lord will do something amazing for me.
There came a time when many from the other schools approached me; some were my colleagues from my previous school, but my heart wasn’t captured, unlike LPU. I have experienced what it is like to be pursued by blessings. All I had to do was make a decision. I went through the exam, the interview, and the teaching demo. I passed. I’m hired.
I even passed the board exam last December 16. God is indeed faithful. I was thrilled while scanning through the names with my friends. Wow! If only we could see how order God is. The transitions were smooth. Everything is falling into place. More than amazed, God will genuinely honor our obedience.
I was sobbing because I believed it would be so long before I could experience teaching again, but observe what the Lord is currently doing. I get to take classes in person at a better institution. The loads are light and the environment is nice. What if I didn’t obey? What if I endured the wrong way? I'll miss a lot of things. I could carry the weight I was carrying from the beginning, and I will keep pleading with God to help me, but in disobedience. I could be somewhere else right now. Indeed, obedience is better than sacrifice.
I surrendered a lot of things last year. It’s hard to let go of something you love and prayed for, but when we hear God's voice telling us to let go, we should do so. We can always trust God’s heart. We sometimes think that what we have is better, but the best is always our portion. He prepares for us what is best. All we need to do is obey.
If God was being faithful in meeting my earthly desires, how much more when it comes to the eternal things? How much can He do through me when I keep on winning souls and making disciples?
My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. (John 10:27) “I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me— (John 10:14)
Obedience itself is fulfilling, but it's not by my might and power, but by God's grace and by the help of the Holy Spirit.
Kristine Joy Eben Bilbao, LPT: set apart and crowned with favor by the Lord.
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